A Day in the Life of General Hux
by We Will Avenge
Summary: An average work day for Hux, the fearsome general of the First Order. Set after the destruction of Starkiller base. One-shot for the win. It's funny I promise.


If you thought General Hux had an easy job as a minor character, think again.  
Waking up, the first thing he does is answer emails from his bed in either the command station, Starkiller Base, or if it's the holidays, his bed in his low-key Coruscant apartment.

 _General Hux,  
_ _Several of the Trooper Officers are having trouble reaching Captain Phasma for status reports. I think it might be on purpose. Could you please tell her that the 'satellite' is some sort of old-fashioned battle droid? We're going to have to do more research on it.  
_ _Thanks,  
_ _Officer Tann_

 **Hux,**

 **There have been several problems with my comlink lately, in the instance that it keeps crashing and won't receive or make calls. Could you please arrange for maintenance to make me a more adequate one?**

 **Phasma**

 _General… Mini-Snoke,_

 _Can you please ask Captain Phasma what the hell she was thinking when she left that stupid girl virtually unguarded? We had hundreds of your damned Troopers on break at the time, couldn't five of them take 15 minutes to stand outside the cell block? It's not like they have a choice, right? They do whatever we tell them to do. I managed to get my ass handed to me outside the Base and I still had to take the fall for everything. Isn't it kind of her job to make sure things like this don't happen?_

 _Tell her I can turn off her comlink any time I want._

 _Any._

 _Time._

 _I._

 _Want._

 _Lots of love. Or something. Or not. Whatever._

- _Kylo Ren_

This is just a small sample of the things he typically wakes up to every morning.

After this amusing start to the morning, Hux gets out of bed and hits the shower. Being one of Snoke's right-hand men definitely has its perks, and an inbuilt shower is one of them. His alarm goes off just as he finishes getting ready, like it should, and he strides confidently out of his quarters, spinal column like a perfectly balanced curtain rod.

The officers and stormtroopers on patrol nod at him as he walks past, and he returns the favor, making an effort to keep a decent profile with these people.

His daily dose of optimism comes from the distant hope that he can get in an adequate breakfast before he was called in to manage another one of the First Order's disasters. He gets his bagel and coffee in the staff room and looks for a place to sit. Kylo Ren is there with a cup of coffee, currently not being a bitch to show his face, and dressed in his typical black uniform. According to the medics, Ren was instructed to keep his mask off to help the scars on his face heal faster, which made him slightly less godly to other workers. Ren hated it. Hux thought his suffering was hilarious.

Kylo didn't normally hang out in the staff room, but in the event that he did, no one questioned it.

Hux goes to sit next to him, knowing it won't be any more uncomfortable than sitting with another group. He was definitely not a favorite among troopers, but it was understandable.

They sit in silence and consume their coffee. They have an impressively good working relationship, Hux and Ren, mostly because they were both dead inside before coffee and the fact that Snoke used them both for his grit work.

And speak of the almost literal devil, an officer was on his com, claiming that Supreme Leader Snoke 'requested' his presence. He sighs, taking one last swig of coffee from its styrofoam cup and throwing it along with his beloved breakfast into the waste bin. There would be time to throw a proper funeral later.

After a brief meeting with Snoke to update him on retaliation against the Rebel Alliance, he was once more pulled away to the bridge to monitor some debriefing on the loss of Starkiller Base.

The whole ordeal was still a mess, as it had been for the past week, but even though publicly he took part of the blame, he inwardly assured himself that it was all Phasma's fault for being such a horrible planner. It felt good to pin the blame on someone, even if it he knew it was pointless.

Kylo Ren and Phasma had both ended up there too on similar businesses, and he approached them once they appeared to have a moment of unoccupation to hand the Stormtrooper Captain another discouraging report on the rogue FN-2187 and a new comlink. He could practically feel Ren's glare, though he never looked at him, and it gave him a shred of satisfaction to override his complaint in front of him.

"General," Phasma said flatly by way of greeting, taking the report and com with a nod. "Did anything else go wrong in the twenty seconds I turned my back?" she asked.

To anyone else, the question would have seemed purely sarcastic. But he knew just as well based on their current situation that she genuinely asking them.

"Apparently we lost thirty percent of unrecoverable data from Starkiller Base in its destruction," Kylo Ren growled. "That makes almost any kind of recovery for its potential power infeasible. To top it off, we have exactly no Plan B."

Phasma sighed and let silence take over.

Hux could write a book on "The Emotions of Kylo Ren/Captain Phasma and How to Read Them" and he could already tell by the tension and exhaustion between the three of them that they had to abandon their breakfast as well.

Hux used the gap in the conversation to quietly quip about the Rebels, just because it felt he ought to lighten the mood a little. Phasma departed silently, and he could tell she was amused by the way she turned her head away by a fraction.

He saw the corners of Kylo's mouth twitch ever so slightly at the joke. People seem to think that he was robotic in his emotions (in fact, there's a betting pool going to that extent) but Hux knows that the opposite is true.

After all, he highly suspected Kylo Ren was the reason Phasma's cheating ex-boyfriend 'mysteriously' ended up in hospital last year. Not that Ren would admit to any of this. Ever. No matter how much he complained about her menacing work ethic, as a Game of Thrones fan, it was hard for Kylo not to admire her distinctively Brienne of Tarth-esque aura. She was definitely channeling Gwendoline Christie somewhere under that helmet.

That being said, he wasn't sure what surprised him more: the fact that the fearsome Almost-Sith-Lord Kylo Ren would bother in such petty personal affairs or the fact that Phasma actually had a boyfriend at one point. He always kind of assumed she was a lesbian. Maybe it was her voice.

It could be said he enjoyed her presence, however. She was like having a hunting dog who was also a cold, demanding older sister, if that made any sense. One had to be Hux to understand it.

Hux shadowed Ren for a while, taking great pride in listening to him beat down several snooty officers, establish daunting authority over a few new ones, and generally boss everyone around. Nothing like watching a man do his job with a vengeance, especially since Kylo was like, what? Nineteen? Most of these pathetic morons were twice his age and marched around calling themselves professionals, but still couldn't do something above-average if they wanted to.

Recently, Hux had offered to push for a few of Ren's more "creative" weapon and effects acquisition forms on the condition that Ren promised to stop arbitrarily destroying things in his rage.

There wasn't much else to his job in the in-between disaster times like these, he just made sure he looked impressive (or, rather, like someone had set down a drink without a coaster) and kept an eye on the low-end workers of the First Order. They were usually pretty good, of course, which was the reason the First Order had any luck getting off the ground in the first place. Sometimes he walked around and asked questions, making sure the information he heard was still correct. Over half of his job was as a walking encyclopedia.

Kylo Ren disappeared halfway through the day; he assumed it was so he could begin completing his hoodoo-sorcerer training with Snoke. That man was just a ball of powerful magic and terrible judgement. More fingers could be pointed at his inability to fight off a teenage scavenger girl who had little to no control of the force. She was going to be a massive problem for them in the not so distant future.

Technically, he wasn't supposed to know about the girl becoming a Jedi, but Ren was, and not many people besides Hux were brave enough to ask the scary Leader of the First Order about it.

By 1300 hours, he was just pleading with the force-magic thing that he could make it to lunch without curling up into a ball and dying. But wouldn't you know, just as he was leaving, something big demanded his attention and he was dragged off to another meeting with only a vague hope that coffee and biscuits would be served.

Apparently, a group of Rebels in X-Wings and a fleet of Tie Fighters temporarily stationed on a civilized planet in the nearby Gorline system were having a scrap-down that demanded an interference.

He pressed a button on his com. "Ren, we need you in here as soon as you're able."

Kylo Ren came striding the door about fifteen minutes later, looking exhausted. He used to think it was impossible for a wizard to overtrain with magic. That was before he learned the amount of physical energy using the force takes. The man seemed like he might collapse on the spot from exertion.

Hux briefly recounted the situation.

"Keep an eye on it. If your men are as exceptionally trained as you claim, they can handle themselves against four yutzes in X-wings. Pull them back if you need to."

"But sir, the citizens-"

"The citizens will not be helped if we go in there and blow everything up, will they?"

"No sir."

"Good. Now keep an eye on things."

"Yes sir."

Kylo Ren was, apparently, out.

Far too many stressful hours later, at around 2200 hours, Ren ordered him to kick it for the night. In terms of accounts for lost equipment on Starkiller, they were as far as they could get for now. For planning, they were in the wind, as most of the Rebels had called off to celebrate their victory, knowing the First Order would be scrambling to retaliate. After an embarrassingly long scuffle with the X-Wings, the Tie Fighters managed to get the drop on their adversaries and send the Rebels packing. Based on Phasma's preliminary report, he would probably wake up to some pretty entertaining emails in the morning. Hux flopped tiredly onto his bed.

He couldn't wait.


End file.
